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The Bath Plug 2018: Rachel Parris

It’s that time of year again!


Now read on, dot dot dot…


With the precedent set by Jones, Richardson and Cryer, it may well be that anyone who knows about the Bath Plug Award, which I created, and which it is my duty to dole out every April, believes it to be a lifetime achievement award for white straight men of a certain age.

This was not at all the idea. This lovely golden plug exists to celebrate COMEDY, and to reward the talent and achievement of great comedians at any stage of their careers. And so this year’s winner, The Mash Report hero and highlight Rachel Parris, is not just more than deserving of the esteemed medal, she’s also provided a much-needed breath of fresh air for the Bath Comedy Festival. By kindly accepting the award from me and festival boss Nick Steel on Friday 6th April, she finally blew away the cobwebs, and opened all the doors for future Bath Plug Award winners! As I said to her afterwards, if the award wasn’t totally merited, it would have felt weird – and it absolutely didn’t. It’s a relief to have a very different kind of winner, but nobody could deserve it more.

As I popped up on stage at the end of her brilliant musical set, there wasn’t a huge amount of time to lavish on the ceremony (not least as she’d been rather violently ill all day), but as you can see from the video below, I did my job as best I could…

… But as she was not far away, Britishness got the better of me when singing her praises. I do believe that her two-handers with Nish Kumar on The Mash Report are uniquely brilliant (perhaps why they go viral so readily), and her delivery of a kind of common sense satire, with a smiling sheen of faux-compassion, comprises a voice we just haven’t heard before. To spare her blushes, I left out my suggestion that she had ‘become the most distinctive voice in British satire since Chris Morris’… Still, if she is reading this, she’s welcome to quote that to her Mum next time her career is called into question. ‘Stephen Fry’s official biographer says…’

Here’s a couple of reports on the shebang anyway, and my stress is turned off, on this score, for another year – my plans for the next Bath Plug are as ambitious as ever, however, and fingers crossed they will come to fruition… COMEDY.CO.UK CHORTLE

Anyway, with those duties fulfilled, the next day saw Kate Harbour and I back at the Widcombe Social Club with our most comedic TALES OF BRITAIN show yet…

And finally, on Sunday at Moles, the main event I’d been preparing for many months, this year’s FUNNY NOISES, which raised £50 for Bath Food Bank, and was a pleasantly mellow experience. In fact, if you’re a real glutton for miserable, painful punishment*, the whole thing was captured on Facebook Live. Ordinarily I’d be antsy about linking to my Facebook profile in a blog, but as anybody can just grab all my personal info from Facebook anyway, I may as well share and share alike…

* NB This statement does not in any way refer to the guest appearance from the very funny and awesome YONIC.



Happy Mithras, lovelies!



The sad thing about funding TWO books on Unbound in fewer than two years, is it becomes a lot harder to keep a personal blog going when you’re having to blog literally every single week to get projects off the ground – and now I have TWO BOOKS coming out in 2018, that won’t change soon, but I’ve somehow found the time to create something new to be ignored by the whole universe, and here’s me telling you all about it…

You may have gleaned from this page that I have a history of pretending to be a recording artist. It all stems back to the dear, utopian days of MYSPACE. Ah, that perfect platform when any old git with a microphone could pretend to be a rock star and many hundred or thousands would back them up in that belief. In today’s fragmented social media world, there are things like Bandcamp and gawd knows what else, but nobody notices because they’re ghettoes, whereas MySpace brought everything into one place, providing the perfect playground for creatives of all kinds. Back then, pretend CDs I released would actually get sent out, to Latvia, Texas, sometimes even getting radio play, because the world was a willing audience. There was the very early offering ‘Songs To Listen To Music By’, then breakthrough non-hit ‘100% Balls’, and finally 2010’s ‘Keeping The Zeitgeist At Arm’s Length’.

The last seven years have gone all-too quickly, and the songs have kept mounting up, with increasing stress on topicality, and less burlesque-led desire to just be absolutely filthy. Although there’s still plenty of that too. I’ve amassed so much material that, although the audience may not be there any more – despite playing Glastonbury this summer! – I’ve decided, for psychologically flawed reasons, to call this collection my 4th album, in the hope that brand new songs will come splashing along all the more easily in 2018, with the cupboards bare. The link above contains the whole album in CD-ready .AIFF files, and the CD cover is the image above it, so if anyone is feeling particularly masochistic, there it is, from the cruelty of Cheer Up Sylvia Plath to the cuteness of No No No, 23 songs to… well, listen to music by.

Just in time to try out my brand new New Year’s Eve number, Absolutely Everything Is Suddenly Going To Change For The Better! I fucking hope it’s a prescient title…




You will have heard by now the horrible news that I’ve apparently written a rather good book – so good, Unbound have delayed it until 2018 to try and give it maximum coverage. I’m thinking of becoming a security guard to survive until then. But for now, here’s the latest digest of Soupy activity…

17) The Producer Said To Me… 

Friday, 3 March 2017

Okay, wrong double act catchphrase, but I hope you’ll forgive me for this mini-update: it’s been a busy week of harvesting the memories and opinions of the two men who shepherded Stephen & Hugh through ABOF&L at the beginning and at the the end.

I’m indebted to Louis Barfe for putting me on to Roger Ordish, this lovely chap…

… Who has of course had to field many far less pleasant questions in recent years, and it was a pleasure to share his warm enthusiasm for Fry & Laurie’s work, and the respite they gave him from that other programme he worked on for so much of his career. Sadly, the hint I had been given that Roger had access to a tape of S1 and S2 outtakes proved to be a red herring, but besides his memories, he was generous to share with us all the special dedication Stephen made in his copy of the first ABOF&L script book… Thank you, Roger!

And secondly, having had trouble making contact via a number of routes, Stephen’s sister Jo found an email address for the comedy Zeus Jon Plowman, who you may recognise from this off-duty photo:

… He’s the one in the middle.

Jon also had no knowledge of outtake material, although there must be a fair share somewhere deep within the bowels of some BBC edifice. Just as a rough guess, given the evidence we have, between the four series of ABOF&L I would estimate there would be enough cut material – as in, studio-recorded sketches, not bloopers – to fill well over an hour of TV. That’s obviously not including the 2 or 3 hours’ worth of ‘unseen’ scripted material I have with me. Comparably, I think Monty Python have a few ripped pieces of half-sketch that would run to less than 5 minutes, because everything else has been released, facsimiled, and shoved into a book at some point.

It was a very relaxed chat with Plowman, and an honour as he’s far from retired, and is a very busy man – this was his one afternoon off from producing the next series of Inside Number 9, which cropped up a few times in our conversation. In fact, as I don’t think any of it will end up in the book, here’s just a minute or so of our chat attached as an mp3 (eyes right!), where I’m trying to wheedle out of him whether the tone of ABOF&L S4 worried him at all (It didn’t)…

It may help to show you a snapshot of my Soupy Twists interview folder below, as a visual guide to how the interviews are coming along. This doesn’t include the people who have responded via email, like Deborah Norton, nor those pledged to at some point, Sandi Toksvig and Ben Elton. The saddest thing about the project for me so far is the unlikelihood of hearing from Tony Slattery, one of my adolescent heroes, for what can only be called ‘Personal Reasons’, as they are personal. Too personal for me to really know, but I have accepted his roundabout excuse note, and only wish him the very best, as I hope we all do.

Excitingly, however, before the month of March is through I will be taking tea with… well, perhaps it would be best to have the tea before divulging. But as my narrative wends its way to the dark opening months of 1995, and the end of the Soupy Twists story, it does seem time to pump from the source at last.

Here’s to pumping from the source,
Soupy Twists!

18) Soupy Red Nose Day!

Friday, 24 March 2017

As a special treat for pledgers, I’ve uploaded the two occasions on which our colleagues Stephen & Hugh manned the Gunge Tank on the first and third nights of Red Nose Day fun at TV Centre in 1989 and 1991 (Little & Large took over for 1989, which with the very best will in the world, gold-embossed and leaving all your money to amazing ponies, is no replacement).

The clips feature two victims, chosen by CBBC viewers – firstly, the much-missed ‘Smitty’, Mike Smith, and secondly, by sheer coincidence, his wife, Sarah Greene.

I did try to grill Stephen on what he recalled about these two celeb gungings, and particularly the origin of gunge tanks in Peter Cook & Dudley Moore’s ‘Not Only But Also’, in an improv section called ‘Poets Cornered’… but the total email reply was ‘Good lord, I didn’t even know NOBA had a gunge tank in fact. But I vaguely remember perhaps seeing the odd thing on TV when young, but all my knowledge of Pete and Dud came later through records.’ Not a warming series of memories, I know, but I will be having tea with the man himself next week, and promise to extract meatier anecdotes from him in person.

So neither Hugh nor Stephen may remember much/anything about their Gunge history, but you can at least enjoy them all afresh here… providing, of course, you’ve already donated something to Comic Relief, bought a nose, sat in some beans, whatever it takes to help the otherwise helpless.

Oh, and when it comes to Fry & Laurie’s other, infamous Comic Relief appearance, I actually have some very meaty memories from Richard Curtis about the day they told him what their contribution would be…

Soupy Twists!

19) No Point Going At It Half-Cock…

Friday, 14 April 2017

… Whereas, going at it full-cock is for me a lifetime’s habit. Hello, a very warm Eostre to you, and welcome to what will almost certainly be the penultimate entry in our SOUPY TWISTS series of blogs, before the full draft manuscript is bicycled off to the Unbound experts in their Islington offices for editing, enjoying, and generally squeezing between chunks of paper.

Because, oh! but what a hectic time it has been since last I be-blogged you all – not least thanks to the Bath Comedy Festival and its many duties, but now I have to tell you, I am fundamentally one decent day’s work away from having a completed draft of SOUPY TWISTS, leaving just a couple of weeks’ editing and tightening and straightening and all the other things manuscripts demand, before I can hand it in and await marking.

As you can see from my current Interviews folder…

I have finally had the honour of making a supermarket dash around Stephen and Hugh’s brains. There should still be one final grey-area-removing rendezvous with both before the book is sent off to the printers, though they will be back ‘home’ in California by then. We have enjoyed the singular pleasure of having both Fry and Laurie on British soil in recent weeks, however, and first I spoke to Hugh on the phone from his new rural idyll. In fact, as we had barely scratched the surface after two hours one Friday morning, he phoned me up the next morning for an interview of even greater length, which was extraordinarily kind of him.

It was only a week or so later that I met up with Stephen in the exact same swanky locale where he had greenlit Soupy Twists 14 months earlier, for a couple of hours’ interrogation over a few drinks and oysters (I never had the latter. Bivalves escape me as a foodstuff and I had already hurled once that morning). Of course, unlike Hugh, Stephen has written three lengthy instances of memoir, so there were far fewer grey areas to cover in person.

Despite absolutely loathing autographs and selfies and such, I felt I owed it to you dear Soupy pledgers to get some proof of our meeting, and despite my number of chins, inability to locate the lens, and a definite visual suspicion that I had just eaten the late Harry Secombe whole… here you go.

But I feel you may be more interested in the linked audiofile, up there. I’ve selected 6 or so minutes from lunch with Stephen, and the same amount of chat with Hugh, and pasted them into one short eavesdropping. I think these sections are interesting, but unlikely to make it into the book, so they’re fine to share. The book, after all, is currently somewhere in the region of 22,000 words over my original contracted word limit…

And I am still adding further interviews all the time, like the fresh Robert Daws chat which occurred just this week – what a lovely fellow, not at all the asshead Tuppy Glossop always was. Obviously. Buy his books!

Until this manuscript is ready to send, then, all I can say is… Language is my mother, my father, my husband, my brother, my sister, my whore, my mistress, my check-out girl… language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or handy freshen-up wipette. Language is the breath of God. Language is the dew on a fresh apple, it’s the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of morning light as you pluck from an old bookshelf a half-forgotten book of erotic memoirs. Language is the creak on a stair, it’s a spluttering match held to a frosted pane, it’s a half-remembered childhood birthday party, it’s the warm, wet, trusting touch of a leaking nappy, the hulk of a charred Panzer, the underside of a granite boulder, the first downy growth on the upper lip of a Mediterranean girl. It’s cobwebs long since overrun by an old Wellington boot.


20) All My Life It’s Been A Mystery…

Friday, 5 May 2017


No, sorry, that’s no way to impart information, is it? Let’s begin again.

I’m very well aware that I promised the last update would be the penultimate before the handover of the Soupy Twists manuscript, but well, it’s a dismal Friday, given the Local Election results, and any source of levity is welcome on a day like today. Despite the mammoth challenge I face preparing this book for the publishers, of which more anon, I still had a few nagging questions for our colleagues which, Columbo, style, I could not let lie while I had access to such great stores of comedy knowledge. And anyone who’s seen the “A Bit of Fry & Laurie” pilot will not be able to forget this:


It’s a short extract from ‘Selected Video Works 1970-78’ by American Artist William Wegman, and it’s never been remotely explained, as the one SPECK of material in all of ABOF&L not created by Stephen & Hugh. Was Wegman perhaps a friend of the colleagues? Did they owe him a favour? What could have possessed them to go with this? Well this morning, an answer to this question came directly from a freshly caffeinated Stephen, in no time at all:

Q: The William Wegman deodorant clip in the ABOF&L pilot – how, why, etc? Such a strange incongruity, with hindsight, but are you happy it’s there?
A: We had thought to ask art students in the very very very nascent branch of video to contribute little clips that might be worth inserting (rather in the way Python had Gilliam) unfortunately WW’s was the only one that was submitted! So we shoved it in the pilot but lost belief in the idea once we went to series.

I hope there are many comedy geeks out there who will sleep better sleeps tonight as a result of this mystery finally being solved. I know I will. Try to.

Anyway, returning to this big woolly elephant of a challenge. I’m sorry to say my finished manuscript is around 7,000 words over, with no hope of an extension, and I have written very tightly throughout – for instance, I would have loved to lavish pages on Delve Special and David Lander, a crucial early comedy character for Stephen, with lots to write about. Fearing the editing process, I had to keep the total coverage of the whole Lander project to maybe a couple of paragraphs, less than a page. I’ve done this throughout, for fascinating topics which aren’t 100% germane to ABOF&L itself. And ever since my first book was slashed to pieces, I’ve always tried to avoid waffle. So where the 7,000 words of cuts will come from, I cannot fathom.

Admittedly, this time I do have the option of posting any cut sections on this blog, but I know there’s a lot of heartbreak ahead for me as chunks are considered for deletion. Right now I am combing through the book from start to finish one last time, tightening everywhere I can, in the hope that the cuts I make will reduce it enough for Unbound to somehow squeeze what remains in (do you pledgers really need legible typeface size? Is it really that hard for you to buy a magnifying glass if we print it in 8 point font? Come on, work with me here). But over the coming weeks/months, I can at least share with you some of the stuff which I’ve had to drop from Soupy Twists in order to get the book out for you.

Until next time, then, you will never understand how much I love you, and of course:

21) You Got It! (I don’t think I have…?)*

Friday, 19 May 2017

I bring momentous news, which is very much of the moment.

Today, Friday 19th May, the full manuscript of Soupy Twists, the official Fry & Laurie story, has been digitally posted over to the good people of Unbound for editing, fixing, and making into one of those books which I hear are very much not all the rage. What a birthday present for company co-founder John Mitchinson! And yet, the pain of the non-fiction writer, nothing ever pauses for one second – just after sending, this was announced: Cell Mates Revival – and we’ve had the sad cancellation of The Great Indoors only announced at the last minute, and Stephen’s cameo in Veep! We’re right up to the line on topicality with this one.

I would take up space here thanking everyone who has pledged, who has offered advice or even content, but all of those Acknowledgements will be in the book, so let’s not waste precious pixels, shall we? I’ll just say ta. You may recall agonies over just how much over the word limit the finished book was – a fortnight of very patient combing through and tightening up has reduced a 7k word excess to about 2.5k – it’s the editor’s job now to hopefully fit all that in. Fingers crossed, and I’ll keep you updated on the progress as Soupy Twists travels from Word document to big papery thing tied up with string (String not included).

Another fillip is that this time last week I had a very long and extremely wonderful chat with Mrs. Jo Laurie née Green, who has fiercely guarded her privacy for over 30 years since first falling in love with a big blue-eyed ex-oarsman, and although she maintains her silence officially, as I knew she would, I was afraid that writing Soupy Twists was infringing on her privacy, and she may not like it… Reader, let me assure you, Hugh’s other half is about as warm and lovely a person as I have ever happened upon in my years of writing these books. No doubt millions of women envy her, but you can certainly tell why Hugh picked her as a keeper! Now we’ve spoken, Jo will be able to help make this book as good as it deserves to be, providing some exclusive photos and such. So an extra grovelling ta to her.

I shall leave you for now with a truly extraordinary extract which had to be plucked from the manuscript to slim it down. I now only refer to it rather than quoting it, or including it in full in the archive section at the back (which will be a very small print digest, so short-sighted types, invest in a magnifying glass right now!). This sketch would have been written, ooh, any time between 1993 and 1996 (sorry to be so vague, all this material is salvaged from undated old corrupted files), but I think you’ll agree, unless you’re extremely stupid and/or argumentative, that it was gob-slappingly prescient work from Gadget Man Stephen – what will the world be like when video calls come in…? Nigel Havers, look away NOW. Everyone, make sure Nigel’s not looking. And… read.

Until next time, if you have been, we are all blessed.

*A very special Soupy Twists Chequebook & Fallacy to the first person to recognise this snatch

22) Knickers Off Ready

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Listen to me, lovelets…

It is now far more than nigh on 8 months since my pilgrimage to Hugh Laurie’s Oxford, at which time I had no belief that I would be able to get as far out as Norwich, despite Stephen’s Norfolk background, and there was plentymuch written about the county’s metropolis in Soupy Twists.

Well, as you know, I delivered the completed ST manuscript back in the spring, but a lovely friend gave me an opportunity to head out to the far east for the first time in my life, and hoover up a little of the atmos of the young Fry’s regular haunts. In truth, as a biographer I’m not sure how much solid wordage is inspired by walking in footsteps in this way, but it does at least feel highly respectful and seems like The Done Thing for any biographer.

So now I have some idea of what Norwich is like, outside of Alpha Papa and general Norfolk jokes. The city was never Stephen’s real home, just the biggest town in the county which became his home as a small child, the county where he still maintains a home now, and clearly loves the place.

That said, it was hard to find places I could pin young Fry down – the hangout he mentions in his memoirs, ‘Just John’s Delicatique’ is unquestionably long gone since the early-to-mid-70s, with the only mentions of the intellectual salon online coming from Fry’s own books. I mean, it’s all very easy to stand in the gates of Norwich cathedral…

… See? But it’s tough to claim expenses on a Soupy Twists trip for that. (Impossible, in fact, as expenses are simply not a thing for a project like this.) Stephen was until quite recently a very proud director of the home association football sport team, the Canaries, so I asked my friend to photograph me here…

… But again, very little in the way of comedy non-fiction material was gathered here. Stephen’s crucial link to the city is that he took his A levels here. Originally he was in King’s Lynn, but that was pre-prison, and eventually he came to City College. Here I am after a lengthy yomp out of town to find the place, though it may still be the wrong bit of it:

…Just to unnecessarily prove to all Soupy onlookers that I have travelled far and wide in my loving documentation of the two erstwhile comedy colleagues’ careers. But all in all, the fact that I reached the conclusion of the Soupy Twists manuscript months ago was not hampered by my Norvician virginity hitherto.

One very lucky boon from the timing of my visit was that I could visit the BBC Comedy Photo Exhibition at Norwich Library, curated by Paul Merton and Adil Ray. But although I saw a Blackadder photo entirely new to me, and Alan Partridge was present and correct, I was naturally disappointed to find not one image of Norfolk’s favourite son Fry anywhere. It would probably be reading too much into it to wonder whether this is down to Merton and Fry’s old falling out over the HIGNFY/Deayton business (they have done Just a Minute together since then anyway), but it seemed a big omission. Glad to have visited, anyway.

Further updates to come, but for now, thank you for a lovely weekend, and the photos, ©Polly Logan-Banks…!

Oh, and also: OSBERTO PARSLEY!


PS Did you know there’s no such thing as a British folktale collection? Help us put that right here, please – my fifth book: TALES OF BRITAIN. Comes with a Fry & Laurie guarantee of quite interestingness.


Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Anyone seen a pithy, fascinating biography of Fry & Laurie anywhere…? Deborah Munnings…?

If you were to take a sky-diving course – and why wouldn’t you? Life is dull enough – you would obviously be very keen to get out to feel the thermal currents filling your body with endorphins. But if your sky-diving instructor took a look at your parachute, and told the pilot they’d have to land and find a safer one, would you say “Screw you, Nazi!” and leap out into the wide blue yonder? Only if you wanted to do an impersonation of mince.

And so I have no option but to relay to you the deeply disappointing news that Unbound Publications has requested more time to ready Soupy Twists – The Official Fry & Laurie Story for release. In fact, all you darling pledgers should hopefully already have received this update from the very equine mush*:

“Dear Subscriber

Every now and then a book is delivered that exceeds your expectations. I’m pleased to say, Soupy Twists, the official story of Fry & Laurie, is just such a book. Jem Roberts has exceeded his brief and delivered a manuscript that bursts with energy and bristles with remarkable research. It will in time, I feel confident, be considered a one of the very best comedy histories ever published.

However, to do it and its subjects justice is going to take time. It’s a big editorial job and not one we want to rush. So the end of the year deadline we’d hoped to hit has receded to early summer next year.

I know this will be a disappointment for many of you – for us too – but the final book will be more than worth it.

Expect Jem to tantalise you with extracts and updates over the coming months. And there’s now plenty of time to encourage your friends to pledge and get their names in the back of a stone cold comedy classic.

Thanks for your support and your patience,

John Mitchinson, Co-founder & Chief Publishing Officer”

As you know, I delivered the finished manuscript back in May, and we were on for a summer of sourcing images, finalising design and so on, all in time to hit the 30th anniversary of the first broadcast of the A Bit Of Fry & Laurie pilot this Boxing Day. The bookish folk at Unbound told me they were all so very happy with the way in which I have told F&L’s story, they don’t want to risk the book disappearing in the pre-Xmas crush (which admittedly has happened with most of my previous releases, all that loving hard work, evaporating on release to the public – even writing Douglas Adams’ official biography failed to gain the kind of notice you’d expect), and so although I argued bitterly that all of you who have supported and pledged for the project were promised the book this year (and I hope I have still managed to get pledgers an earlier release), it now seems that 2018 will be the year of Soupy Twists, not 2017. To be fair, ABOF&L the series really began in 1988, so on the 30th anniversary front, it does still work either way.

But you must believe me, this delay is an absolute dagger in my giblets, having promised the book to you in time for Yule on more than one occasion. And if you’ll forgive my indulgence, on a personal level the delay is utterly disastrous, as the state of the magazine industry means crucial freelance income has dried up almost entirely, and I will be down to £0 before the end of the year, with no timely book release to come to my aid. Though none of my books have been written with a financial motivation, the planned timing of the Soupy Twists release was going to just about save my streaky, so this has knocked me for a lot more than six.

In fact, straits are so dire, I have done something I never thought imaginable, and started a Patreon,, should anyone out there sympathise, and be lucky enough to have the breadline somewhere beneath them.

I also have more works of comedy history I’m burning to create, as well as the crucial campaign that is TALES OF BRITAIN, which is by far the most important project I have ever attempted, so all help is sincerely appreciated. In fact, if you have any desire to help support Soupy Twists, and myself, pledging for this unique story collection justhere would be perhaps the kindest thing you have ever done! Stephen is already aware of the book, and I hope we have his support as the campaign continues – maybe I’ll get the gumption to alert Hugh too, both are patriotic types, I hope. There’s literally NO single collection of UK folk and fairytales in existence, so do join the movement for a 21st century retelling.

But in the meantime, this Soupy Twists project will just take a little longer, and I will do all I can to keep you informed and entertained, with Stephen & Hugh’s help (both have reaffirmed their proud support of the book, despite the delay), until you really do hold their official story in your beautifully manicured hands. In a way, this is good for Fry & Laurie fans, as it will require me to share even more material than I ever envisaged (always with their approval), and I will not neglect updating this blog, making it a continuing celebration of everything Fry & Laurie did together. For instance, there’s this wonderful 1982 photo from the Lincoln, Rutland & Stamford Mercury I took a snap of when combing through the Footlights collection in Cambridge:

What an image. Behold Stephen’s gaze of sheer withering hatred for the beaming star of the show, see Hugh’s face of literal disgruntlement, Paul’s blank stare and Robert’s… blank stare, also. I would so love to have this cutting in the book, but I’m not sure if iPhone pics of old newsprint are considered publishable by Unbound, so this may be my only chance of sharing it with you. I just hope bits and pieces like this will be some recompense for your kind support, and above all, patience. Please remember that nobody is more crestfallen by this delay than I am, and when the book is ready early next year, it should be even better than if it had been ‘rushed through’ for a 2017 release.

I’ve enjoyed being fabulous with you, and I aim to continue to be so. In conclusion, then: VILN.

*I am not saying the Unbound CPO’s mouth bears any resemblance to a horse’s. No horse could grow a beard that impressive.

24) Hugh Laurie’s Face

Friday, 4 August 2017

Happy Soupy Twists Friday, FAL-fans!

This isn’t much of an update, but it had been bothering me for a while that this sketch wasn’t online as a standalone piece, and to my mind, this is the funniest 38 seconds of wordless comedy in the entire history of funny things. Even without the punchline.

And all down to Hugh Laurie’s face… and, admittedly a very amusing wig. In fact, I feel it deserves a GIF to go with it:

I wouldn’t hesitate to draw parellels between Hugh’s physiognomy and that of Buster Keaton – it’s a wonder they’ve never built a biopic around them. With those features, and that physicality, Laurie could have been dropped into any silent comedy studio at the start of the last century and become a legend.

I’m aware that a lot of you lovely supporters have come to this book from a love of House, and I wouldn’t hear a word against that frankly brilliant series. But it’s one of the main aims of Soupy Twists to provide a permanent record of the all-too-easily forgotten fact of Hugh’s comedic brilliance, totally separate from Stephen’s own brand of comic excellence, which has always been to the forefront, due to his sheer profligacy of talent. But as his colleague has always loudly insisted, Hugh’s talent for physical comedy has always stood alone, far beyond his own skill in that area, with words being, of course, Fry’s metier. Nowhere is Hugh’s skill more in abundance than in this balloon animal quickie, it’s a sublime sub-minute.

It’s also essential to this book that I sing Hugh’s praises as a comic songwriter, which I was glad to get to discuss with him in person – I did my best to assure him that songs like ‘Little Girl’ and ‘All We Gotta Do’ belong in the echelons of Lehrer and Wood, and that funny songs are not a cheap novelty side-genre, but about as specialised and difficult an artform as can be imagined. Anyone can twang a tune with asinine lyrics, but to write and perform a catchy song that is also packed with gags, is far beyond the skill of 99% of the world’s musicians. I’d like to think I sowed a seed which may see Hugh performing more original material with the Copper Bottom Band, live and maybe even on record. His brand of compassionate satire could do a lot of good in this naughty world. But we’ll have to see if he takes this on board.

But, as I say, it’s his personal comic voice and – obviously – face and body which I fear is in danger of being put out of mind by his international success as a straight actor, and I would take these 38 seconds above all the many hours of TV he has created in the last 20 years. You have to recognise the distinct qualifications that go into the overused term ‘genius’ in any artform, before daring to trundle the word out. And having done that, I will now employ it: Genius.

Bath Plug Award 2017: BAZ!

Well, another Bath Comedy Festival tucks itself up in bed, and levity flies from the city once again for another year. This was a particularly light year for me, as my usual multiple duties mainly boiled down to just performing at Moles club on Sunday 9th, for this year’s FUNNY NOISES: MY LOVELY HORSE!

True, a few days before I enjoyed the honour of introducing the arrival of I’M SORRY I’LL READ THAT AGAIN, AGAIN in our city, explaining my part in the original scripting of the show, and my suggestion in The Clue Bible all those years ago, and even playing Bill Oddie’s immortal BLIMPHT before the real new Wonder Team took to the stage. It really does make for the most extraordinarily hilarious night, and there are still plenty of shows to go, so check out:


Offstage Theatre boss Barnaby Eaton-Jones and I – there’s a chap who knows how to get things done…

And indeed, the night before that, I was honoured to get up on stage as soon as Barry Cryer and Ronnie Golden had finished their show at the Wiltshire Music Centre near Bradford-on-Avon, to present Baz with this year’s Bath Plug Award. He’s a long-standing patron of the festival, and of course I owe my entire career to a phone call he made to me after I wrote some fanzine articles on ISIRTA and ISIHAC about 12 years ago, so it’s all his fault I’m so poor! But the funny thing is, all these years I’ve never really drunk with Barry, which seems remiss, but I always respected his privacy, which it turns out is not at all what he wants, he wants a laugh and a pint. And that night we all had quite a few. It wouldn’t be the Bath Comedy festival without getting legless with a true comedy legend at some point.

baz.jpgBCF boss Nick Steel, Baz, Ronnie, and I. Nick and I still look like bouncers.

Ordinarily we have a special event for the Bath Plug, but as I said on stage, it turns out that the very last possible question about comedy that Barry had never been asked was used up by Matthew Sweet at the Melton Mowbray Comedy Festival in 2013, so we thought it best to save him the inquisition. Interviewing Barry Cryer is the comedy equivalent of playing Stairway To Heaven on a shop guitar.

But questioning him over numerous beers is a very different thing, and a great night was had by all, including his partner Ronnie Golden and Bath festival boss Nick Steel, as we heard about Max Miller and Willie Rushton (the campaign to create a Rushton tribute book starts here) and many other comedy jewels which littered the carpet all night long. A night to cherish – and Baz being Baz, he even had the decency to ring up the next day when safely back home in Hatch End, to thank MA for such a great night!


Uncle Simon, Auntie Zoob, Stepmummy Bea and Mama Rhi, plus Daddy Jem, making folky funny noises at Moles Club, April 2017.

And so Sunday’s mellow musical gala was my main worry for this year’s festival, and it was certainly the most laid back one of all, which has just left me otherwise working on Soupy Twists day in, day out… but I am no more than one decent day’s work away from completing that, my fourth book, and so a big announcement is in the offing…



More updates on SOUPY TWISTS: Digested and excreted for your pervy pleasure!

Now read on, dot dot dot…

9) Since You Have Been Kind Enough Never To Be Peter Sissons…

Sirs and Madams, I am chastened and bowed – ever the men and women of affairs, you have reminded us all, ALL, of our duty.

A Fry & Laurie book for you.

This shed has become slightly derelict since the glorious surge over 100% that the dear colleagues Stephen & Hugh engineered for us all – this is largely due to the necessity of earning currency for living purposes, as this book is written entirely on goodwill and dreams, until it actually exists, when hopefully a last-minute reprieve from total poverty will ride to the rescue.

But also it’s been a busy time in all areas – Fry and Laurie have been sunning themselves in the South of Wales, sorry, California – well, San Francisco for Hugh – readying their new US shows The Great Indoors and Chance, and so communication has evaporated until later in the year.

I have however, begun the process of rallying their friends and loved ones for interviews. My very first, to whom I shall be grateful long time, was the splendid Paul Shearer:

Who told me a few fascinating tales I’d never heard before, and shortly after I had an all-too brief chat with his old friend:

… Although sadly, too much time was spent gushing on my side (don’t be so beastly!) and our time was quickly over – and so Emma has kindly agreed to tackle further questions via email at her leisure. A similar deal has been struck with Sandi Toksvig, Geoff Posner and Kim Harris – and indeed Ben Elton, who now has a movie to helm down under as well as Upstart Crow series 2 to pen, so it’s understandable that he can’t come round to my house for a cup-a-soup and a chat about what he was doing 35 years ago. Typical.

Next month I’ll be drinking in Oxford with John Lloyd, and losing my Groucho Club virginity with Jon Canter, and so there’s lots to look forward to. But perhaps the most exciting news is, I think I may have just completed the first ‘Bit’ of the book, at last. I’m thinking of this story as four ‘Bits’ – Birth to Cellar Tapes, Early careers, ABOF&L, and finally, everything since 1995, in brief. Only completing the first quarter now is a little behind schedule, not least as of course there’s still plenty of fresh interview material to be folded back into the text, but it’s an important moment.

But if you want the slightest inkling of the mountain I still have to climb, here’s a visual representation of my research pile, which I have been amassing over nearly 30 years…

My Fry & Laurie collection (selected, all Audio tapes are too buried to extract without my entire bedroom falling apart).

Finally, PLEASE keep spreading the word among lovers of fine British Comedy the world over, this 107% total is not the end, the higher the number we reach, the more likely it is Hugh Laurie will come round your house and drink your tea. That is a promise. Or if you prefer, Stephen will pop by and read you a bedtime story in that lovely green velcet jacket of his. Until then, Soupy Twists!

Oh, actually, if there are any American fans out there, certainly from the south-east states, here is the other reason progress will slow later this month. There is a relevance – I’ll be playing Hugh songs including ‘All We Gotta Do’, ‘Sophisticated Song’, and maybe even ‘Kickin’ Ass’…! 

10) HUGH LAURIE: Hollywood Star!

Well, I was always painfully aware of what a truly extraordinary story I was telling here… but never moreso than on this spectacular day, as I sit on the coast of the opposite shining sea of the United Stated of America and watch the great and the good of Hollywood prostrated at Hugh Laurie’s Union Jack socks, as his well-deserved star on the Hollywood Boulevard (fittingly just outside the British Pub, The Pig ‘N’ Whistle) is unveiled.

Eyes wet from Stephen’s tribute, there’s little I can do for now but share some hot screengrabs, and assure you that today has given Soupy Twists a stronger shape, a more exciting denouement, and hopefully a larger audience, than I could ever have dreamed.

In a couple of hours I will be paying my own tribute by playing ‘The Sophisticated Song’ on ukulele in a parking lot on St. Simon’s Island, Georgia. So until further authorial twists and turns come about, what can I say but:

“Smell? Smell? Smell? SMELL???”

Sorry, I mean:

“We took the caravan down to Dorset this year, and pushed it over a cliff.”

Sorry, I mean:


11) Happy Hallowe’en (THIS *IS* AMERICA)!


I am actually IN America (The States) as the holiday comes around (so don’t throw me out of a window, Stephen and Hugh), and sadly, with that reference, I’ve already used up the best Fry & Laurie video for Hallowe’en in the text above, but to celebrate us hitting a wonderful 111%, here’s a bonus slice of young Gelliant Gutfright to enjoy this sizzling Samhain…

I was over in the US performing some silly Limey-Yank themed shows with the shamingly musically gifted Michaele Hannemann, and here, if you have insensitive ears and wish to grab a bit of spooky Halloween mood, is a heavily condensed Best Of Thing. With Soupy Twists! references at about the halfway point..!


(I’ll probably only leave it up for a few days, fill your booties…)

12) “Quite right, Oxford’s a complete…”

… Well, of course I wouldn’t go that far, not by a long walk. My only previous experience of Oxford was a very brief stopover to watch Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden remember The Goodies about a decade ago, so my recent pilgrimage to Hugh Laurie’s hometown really constituted my first experience of that fine historic city and its infamously dreaming spire collection. And it is a handsome part of the country for sure, with pleasingly gargoyled ancient colleges aplenty, and as an Alice lover, my visit to Christ Church was worth the detour.

But somehow, it’s no Cambridge. If you were to remove the universities from either town, perhaps Cambridge would crumble and be blown into the sea, while the stolid midland city of Oxford would still have a considerable history to prop it up, as effectively England’s Second City for many years of yore. But it’s a large and logically laid-out place, its medieval charms far between, whereas the centre of Cambridge is pure movie-set Hogwarty wonder, so higgledy-piggledy are its unique colleges jostled together, with the Cam lazily meandering through the middle. I would not go so far as General Melchett, or Donald Trefusis in his condemnation of the alma mater of Bennett, Moore, Palin, Atkinson, Iannucci, Lee, Herring et al, but I rather think Cambridge nudges it in the beautiful university town stakes.

Stop that, dreaming spires, it’s filthy.

I have of course already had the pleasure of visiting Stout’s Hill, where Stephen was first sent away to school, but sadly I cannot see any way in which I could manage to get up to Norwich, or visit the rural isolation of Booton, where much of the Fry childhood was spent. However, as the birthplace of Hugh Laurie, a visit to relatively nearby Oxford felt paramount, to walk the same streets for a few dozen miles, albeit in steel-toe-capped boots with inadequate socks. Ow.

My first act was to get the bus to Blackbird Leys – as non-descript a surburban estate as you could care not to visit in any town or city in the UK, and of course not at all the area that Hugh actually grew up in, but as his father was the GP with specific responsibility for the entire factory workers’ community, it would have been very familiar to young Hugh.

A more concrete connection came with the long journey to the north of the city, and The Dragon School, where Laurie was prepped for Eton:

There’s very little of this blistering expedition which can impact upon the Soupy Twists text in much of a material form, but it feels an important part of the biographer’s duty, somehow. There was, though, another reason I braved Oxfordshire, as the county also happens to be one of the most comedy-legend-packed shires in the land, with Blackadder Halls in numerous corners. And from one of them came the no-introduction-needing John Lloyd, one of my longest supporters in this career thing in which I seem to still be immersed.

John’s long friendships and career connections with Fry & Laurie are well known, from Stephen’s first ever comedy credit in Not The Nine O’clock News to Lloyd’s script-editing of Alfresco series one, and above all, of course, Blackadder and QI. Once I passed the place in the street, I could not settle for a less auspicious venue for our chat than the Four Candles, named in honour of beloved Oxonian Ronnie Barker, for our chat on double act history:

The chatter was loud, and our time was quite short, but over the hour or so I managed to gain John’s view on the above and a fair few other areas of Stephen and Hugh’s careers, he having a particularly passionate estimation of the extremity of Hugh’s acting chops, and understandably very little memory of our colleagues’ early careers, when he was either making Not The Nine O’clock News, or balancing The Black Adder and Spitting Image as part of his mid-life breakdown preparation. The interview was as pleasant an encounter as ever, after all these years of thrusting my nose into Commander Lloyd’s comedy business, and I’m sure we are all very grateful to him. Now I just have to transcribe the natter into the relevant spots of the whole pink, fluffy narrative at hand. So that’s Paul, Kim, Emma, Sandi and John interviewed… but there are many Fry & Laurie colleagues still to talk to, and as your devoted slave I will continue to leave no geological specimen undefiled. Until later…


13) Stephen Fry DANCES!


📹 Watch video

Well, we may be at a whopping 113%, Soupy Twisters, but don’t forget, there’s no limit to what we can raise, and there must be a few hundred thousand House fans who still don’t know that Hugh Laurie has allowed some herbert to write his official story – as ampersanded to his colleague.

The book is headed to the halfway mark by the end of the year, leaving a winter of focus on ABOF&L and hopefully a finished draft by the spring, leaving a summer of design, editing and i-dotting, with hopes to get your copies of Soupy Twists to place in your own personal Soupy Twists handy wipe-clean travelling cases before the official 30th anniversary of ABOF&L on 26/12/17.

I was in the well known city of London on Friday having a particularly jolly nostalgic trip with noted humorist Jon Canter – a name you will recognise as script editor on the best series of ABOF&L. He had some choice nuggets to share, but the gist is – Stephen and Hugh were toughies. They knew what they wanted, and it was down to the production team to serve their vision.

For now, as a special bribe to ask you to keep spreading the word, I present a couple of musical numbers taken from the 1983 documentary ‘FOOTLIGHTS! 100 Years of Comedy’. Stephen and Hugh were too young in deed at the time to be interviewed, but Fry was hired, alongside Slattery, Bathurst, Shearer and Hesketh-Harvey, to recreate some of the most toe-curling Footlights numbers of yore – the embarrassing ‘Cheer Oh, Cambridge!’ and a number about how silly women are, and how men dressed up as women are clearly much better. It takes all sorts.

There’s no doubt that any singing on here will not be coming from Fry lips, he must surely be miming… but those are certainly the Fry limbs being moved around in a syncopated fashion. And so, for one blog only, ladies and gentleboys… STEPHEN. FRY. DANCES!

Soupy Twists!

14) Felicitations of the Gorging Season!


Who’s that at the door on a cold Christmas night? It could be a robin…?

I won’t spoil the Xmas atmos by mentioning that cove who ended up a cropper on top of a hill in jolly arab land, but 2016 has been a remarkable year, so it would be remiss not to wish every last pledger to SOUPY TWISTS a very very jolly festive season. This time next year, we all hope you’re immersed in this remarkable story…

But for now, here’s a couple of small gifts. Sadly the full CHRISTMAS NIGHT WITH THE STARS from 22 years ago isn’t online in its entirety, and the F&L clips on YouTube are very poor quality, but it’s an annual tradition, so enjoy what there is – and remember Hugh’s crucial advice on mulled wine…

And as an extra pressie, as there’s no real way of using this in the book, here’s an article from the sun from around 25 years ago, with Stephen chatting about all his GRATE COMEDY MATES:

Thanks again for all your support in 2016, and please keep spreading the word into 2017!


15) Happy Friday 13th, If You’ll Pardon The Pun*

Well, fusk the Friday 13th naysayers, what a truly remarkable anniversary today is, and how eerily lucky I am that I only happened to notice this due to reaching the first ever broadcast of A Bit of Fry & Laurie series 1 episode 1 in my Soupy Twists narrative yesterday.

Because it was 28 years ago to the superstitiously dodgy day, Friday 13th January 1989, 9pm on BBC2, that ABOF&L debuted – not counting the Boxing Day pilot in 1987, of course. It was the first broadcast of the first episode of the first series, of what I for one am calling the finest sketch show ever wrought by humanity. If you wanted to pop the first episode on the DVD on this evening at 9pm, you can recreate the sheer rabid excitement of that moment, and for added 1980s verisimilitude, you could craft yourself a mullet out of stray dog hairs, take a guess at what went into Quattro and recreate the drink for the occasion, or perhaps even invite Jason Donovan around to watch it with you. If you ask him, he’ll be there.

Anyway, to celebrate the milestone for all you tasty pledgers, I’m afraid I have no outtakes from that episode, but I do have the following never-before-imagined sketch, written and recorded for the pilot but never broadcast. Ordinarily I am careful to clear such sharings with Mr Fry, but as this material came via the BBC directly, I’m hoping I can get away with it.

Perhaps you fear this is being too generous with exciting lost Fry & Laurie sketches, but I must take a moment to explain my greatest dilemma as Soupy Twists author – I have SO MUCH wonderful F&L material, I would guess there’s no way I can share more than about 20% of it. Right now I’m nearing 60k words of a book contracted for 100k – 20k of which I have vowed to leave purely for archive sketches. And you already know where I am in the narrative, not even into the 1990s. Somewhere along the line, either an extension is needed, or the tale I am relating will have to be viciously slashed down to fit into the book covers. And so whole sketches like the below rarity, ‘Honour’, can only be referred to in passing, perhaps a snippet quoted, which means that blogs like this one form an important outlet for funny tummy rubbish.

And I stress the word, ‘important’.

‘Honour’ is, I suggest, a kind of dry run for the ‘Language’ and ‘Beauty’ sketches, you can hear Stephen’s tongue running away with him, you can see Hugh’s bemused looks to camera, you can wonder where on earth all this nonsense stemmed from. Sadly we can only guess at the melody to Hugh’s song – in the pilot script this led directly into ‘Mystery’ – but who knows, if he’s out there and his memory is jogged, he might give it a play and remind us all of his musical mastery, with or without his Copper Bottom.

Therefore, happy birthday, ABOF&L, and take it away, Fry & Laurie, with ‘HONOUR’:

*Oh, wasn’t there one? I’m sorry.

16) Well, I wouldn’t suck it!

Added on Feb 24 with 2 comments

Now then, then, now, now, now, then now. Now then.

It has been a considerable number of hours since last this Shed was updated, so although there is no cataclysmic event to be detailed here, I just thought I’d fill in the faithful on what’s been happening with Soupy Twists!

Despite Stephen popping by North-West Europe to hand out a few BAFTAs earlier in the month, and Hugh being over here doing something Holmesian, neither colleague has yet been able to settle on a time for another full in-person interview for the book as yet, though impertinent questions are being fielded via email for the nonce. (For the moment, that is. That’s one Wodehousian term which is perhaps best dropped these days. No actual nonces are involved, I swear.)

This has, however, been the first time that any of my books has inspired me to pay a second visit to the BBC’s delightful, precious (don’t you dare touch it, BBC) Written Archives in the suburbia of Reading. I’d neglected to really get to grips with the timings of each series of ABOF&L’s production – series 4, for instance, was made a whole year before it hit screens – and also, I just wanted to devote more time to combing through the scripts for titbits, such as this looser rendition of the Soup/Broth contretemps:

Or indeed, this alternate (fizzly) ending to series 3’s wonderful ‘mimed dog tragedy’ sketch:

… Which of course, has no place within the book, given the strictures of pressed wood pulp, but still a thrill to find and share. In fact, have a Gary cartoon of young Stephen from one of his 80s columns while we’re at it:

I have also carried out a number of further interviews, including producers Nick Symons (again) and Roger Ordish, Jeeves & Wooster boss Brian Eastman, and the absolutely lovely Deborah Norton, regular supporting artist in ABOF&L series 1. I also managed to bag the best part of an hour on the phone with this unfailingly lovely chap:

Richard Curtis was very kind to me when I was writing The True History of the Black Adder, and despite Comic Relief taking up most of his waking hours at the moment, he was generous with his time all over again – we even ended up talking about Dr Who and time travel, in a chat which will resurface elsewhere…

Otherwise, I’m simply listening to Storm Doris batter the house about as I tell the story of these two colleagues, making a very good living by spreading even better laughter. In fact, right now I’m immersed in the fourth series, so am beginning to get a little emotional that the end of the road is almost in sight.

Of course, that’s still only the first draft, and then all the really tough stuff to do with artwork and editing and (shudder) marketing will follow, so it’s still impossible to give a guaranteed date for delivery, but all I can say for now is: watch this space! Intermittently, that is. Every now and then. Nothing’s going to happen if you just watch. This space.


PS Oh, and I also finally got to see the inside of The Groucho Club, thanks to my dear thrice-publisher of yore, Trevor Dolby. As Fry practically helped build the place, I felt it was a crucial location for Soupy Twists research. Sadly, the photographic proof of my visit was less than pleasant to behold… Boh!

Ryan Mooney
February 24, 2017

Great stuff, Jem! Looking forward to paging through this mighty tome and filing it twixt Frood and Bladder. What is Unbound if not a giant Trying to Borrow A Fiver Off?

Sam Knowles
February 24, 2017

An investment not as batty as it appeared at 1st, 2nd and 34th glance after all!


“Unless, of course, I’m absolutely entirely wrong, again.”

To be fair, it’s still a remake – they just went with Brexit’s ‘DICKS ARE RUNNING EVERYTHING’ finale instead.

Jem Roberts



I am actually IN America (The States) as the holiday comes around (so don’t throw me out of a window, Stephen and Hugh), and sadly, with that reference, I’ve already used up the best Fry & Laurie video for Hallowe’en in the text above, but to celebrate us hitting a wonderful 111%, here’s a bonus slice of young Gelliant Gutfright to enjoy this sizzling Samhain…

I was over in the US performing some silly Limey-Yank themed shows with the shamingly musically gifted Michaele Hannemann, and here, if you have insensitive ears and wish to grab a bit of spooky Halloween mood, is a heavily condensed Best Of Thing. With Soupy Twists! references at about the halfway point..!


File 30-10-2016, 20 10 46.jpeg

(I’ll probably only leave it up for a few days, fill your booties…)

But now, forgive me. Having been mooching around…

View original post 469 more words




I am actually IN America (The States) as the holiday comes around (so don’t throw me out of a window, Stephen and Hugh), and sadly, with that reference, I’ve already used up the best Fry & Laurie video for Hallowe’en in the text above, but to celebrate us hitting a wonderful 111%, here’s a bonus slice of young Gelliant Gutfright to enjoy this sizzling Samhain…

I was over in the US performing some silly Limey-Yank themed shows with the shamingly musically gifted Michaele Hannemann, and here, if you have insensitive ears and wish to grab a bit of spooky Halloween mood, is a heavily condensed Best Of Thing. With Soupy Twists! references at about the halfway point..!


File 30-10-2016, 20 10 46.jpeg

(I’ll probably only leave it up for a few days, fill your booties…)

But now, forgive me. Having been mooching around Georgia USA for a couple of weeks, I can’t resist an unusual and regrettable dip into topical observation – that is to say, that I’m pretty confident that Donald Trump will not win, solely due to the nature of American remakes.

I always loathed US remakes – in my worse-than-callow youth I even had a webpage listing them and screaming in agony, which I will not link to via Internet Archive Wayback, to share my own sunburned blushes. No matter how successful Kevin Spacey’s remake of House of Cards is, it’s still a less sophisticated version of what Ian Richardson did a lot better, first. The US version has veered miles from the UK original, it’s true, but it’s still discernably a direct interpretation, and now with the US Presidential Election, it seems like the same thing is happening in real life. We have two badly split countries with rising racism and right-wing dissent against a glassy-eyed government, and a crucial vote – on the one hand, the same old shit, on the other – unimagined oblivion (and potential bedlam either way). But Brexit for us was a vote where folk like you or I felt that, yeah, despite everything, we’d wake up in the morning with the same old shit, and all the fear-mongering of recent weeks would be disproved.

If there’s twenty-eight things I despise, then Conspiracy Theories are certainly on the list. But in recent years I had almost got sucked into this narrative that, no matter what we wanted, Boris Johnson was going to become PM. The destruction (or apparent temporary derailment, but please Oh God, no, not that) of that plot point on the morning of Brexit was one of the few saving graces of the whole feculence-typhoon. Perhaps there really is no dark force out there pulling all the strings, handing poor Neddy Muldoon a bomb to put in a restaurant to control democracy. And perhaps, like his UK source material, Trump will see his dreams dashed, and of course stick around making a stink no matter what happens. But for the series parallels to hold, America needs to end up with a helmet-haired Ice Queen in charge (this is after all a reboot of 1980’s politics), so maybe this time, no spoilers, you can relax – by Christmas, we’ll all be back in the same old shit.

Unless, of course, I’m absolutely entirely wrong, again.

(By the way, you won’t find any TV-themed musings like this on @BingeBoxMag, but do check in if you can, as I’m the Comedy Editor of the fantastic new fortnightly* mag, and helming the Twitter account to boot.)


*Apparently you should never use this word in the US unless you want to sound like a mad olde world gifte shoppe ownere.