Posts Tagged ‘comedy history’

Magazine Scraps #3 – #GE2015: THE VIDEOGAME.

I’m not sure what it is about early May and these Magazine-themed entries (just over a year since Magazine Scraps #2), but in trying to find an analogy to suit my dismay at recent events in the UK, gaming seemed to provide the most holistically pleasing answer. This reminded me that, as a writer, my roots will always be in games journalism… even if I can’t actually afford to enter the current gen.

Less than 48 hours on from the trumpeting of the triumph of immense stupidity over simple compassion in the British public that was #GE2015, like huge swathes of the stunned electorate, I’m attempting to find a balance between being positively determined not to let the new government flog off one more element of our National Health Service, to do every peaceful thing possible to be part of any movement holding the Bullingdon bastards to account… with just needing to shut the blinkety-sodding-flip up about politics for a while, and think about anything else.

My anger in the last week has no doubt spiralled into obnoxiousness on at least one occasion. It’s been an exhausting, frustrating time for all correct-thinking, full-working-heart-owning Britons, and the worst possible outcome is now impossible to ignore… but let’s at least catch our breaths.

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It ultimately struck me that the numb feeling was something like pounding your way through an advanced level of a perversely, horrifically tough hack-‘n’-slash videogame, a Dark Souls-plus nightmare set on ‘INSANE-OH-CHRIST’ difficulty, and wearing away every scrap of skin from your hands on a bloodied controller trying to beat the final End of Level Boss (a sickening homunculus with the faces of Cameron, Osborne, Farage, Duncan-Smith, Hague, Schapps, Gove, Hunt, Jeremies Paxman and Clarkson, and Uncle Tom Conti and all), hacking and slashing and thudding thumbs down to complete sodding Quick Time Events, determined to beat the blisteringly unbalanced challenge…

… And then having your last tiny scrap of Energy smashed out of you with a totally illogical, impossible-to-dodge killer move from the evilly-grinning Boss, wiping out your very last life… Game over.

… And then you press ‘A’, and there you are – on the next level. Without explanation. You lost the battle, but you’re still there, with another vast new world to traverse, for five years, until you reach the next seemingly-impossible-to-beat End of Level Boss. This time, on this worse level (probably heavily featuring enormous pits of lava) the challenges are even harder, the monsters tougher and crueller (particularly, it already seems, to foxes, and disabled people), and you’ve not levelled up one iota to deal with this.

But we have no real option but to play on.

Press ‘Start’.

Get hacking and slashing, and looking for all the power ups we can find.

Because we can’t let this game beat us.

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But anyway – we know a song about that, don’t we?

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Apologies for turning a diatribe on the tragedy of #GE2015 into a song plug, but the subject matter here is so obscure, I don’t get a lot of chances to play ‘Aw QTE’, and I think it’s a lovely tune and don’t care who knows it. Plus, Dizzy references.

So while we’re on the subject of videogames, here’s the apparently traditional annual array of scraps from my early magazine career, when I was a tinpot handheld gaming despot given the freedom to get away with all sorts of weird gaming mag excesses. All snippets are circa, ooh… 2001?

Such as these Total Advance ‘Daft Professor’ boxouts, for Disney’s Atlantis and some Crash Bandicoot outing, which I assure you were almost amusing at the start of the millennium…

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And to return to the subject of fighting, this was rather a fun afternoon’s work, promoting a King of Fighters competition in Total Advance… I still have those pyjamas somewhere.

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Any which way but bloodily, let the fight go on. Not literally, unless Osborne’s nose itself is within punching grasp.

Having continually vented my anger at them, albeit comedically, I’m trying my very best to develop a more Christian attitude to the actual deluded, selfish Tory-voters who have ruined the foxes’ weekends. I’ve perhaps permanently fallen out with some very old friends who stunned me by admitting their voting habits, but to them I will aim to say, “The fight continues… But not with you.”

Wow, now THAT’S going to be a challenge.

2014: A Hitchhiker Odyssey & ENDPAPERS

2014: A STRANGELY ADAMSIAN YEAR.

This year has had one overwhelmingly apparent theme for me – it was the year that I all-but unwittingly became the official Douglas Adams biographer, and raider of the Adams archives. The honour of this will probably hit me a few minutes before I die. But I was far from the only person still working to fly the towel for Douglas this year – it has been a bizarrely Adamsian year from start to finish. What follows is adapted from an article written for a paper thing…

Douglas Adams

‘Forgive me if you knew this already, perhaps I’m the last person in the world to find this out,’ Douglas Adams worried unnecessarily in one of the numerous tech columns he wrote towards the end of the last millennium, in this case on the problem of communicating via ‘palmtop’ technology: ‘the answer is this: you grip the palmtop between both hands and you type with your thumbs. Seriously. It works. It feels a bit awkward to begin with, and your hands ache a little from using unaccustomed muscles, but you get used to it surprisingly quickly.’

The rapidity with which our species has developed these muscles and now uses them unthinkingly is testament to how far ahead of the curve the avid Mac collector and gadget obsessive Douglas Adams surfed, for so long. The great humorist and thinker’s cautious discovery now seems quaint – which, along with being hopelessly over-ambitious, is one of the risks of being in the vanguard of technological philosophy. The further ahead your thinking, the bigger the margin for error, and likelihood of looking naïve in hindsight.

But as we take a look around at the techie landscape we all enjoyed, inhabited and maybe even suffered in 2014, we see a world which would have delighted and amused Adams in equal measures. The publication of a wealth of top-grade composition from the infamously painstaking author for my official celebration of HitchhikerThe Frood – endorsed by Douglas’ family and estate, does in a way give the sadly missed philosopher and joker a fresh presence in the new century. It’s often hard not to see this brave new world from his unique perspective, which was tragically halted at the start of the millennium.

The author always diffidently batted away any claims for him as a predictive visionary: from the very start, he was a frustrated comedian turned humorist, with making people laugh generally his utmost priority, and if it suited his framework of jokes to have his hero carrying around a compact electronic book connected to an information source known as ‘Sub-Etha’, boasting all the knowledge in the Galaxy, that was just, in every sense, a device. That this Guide rather neatly presages actual devices which are now stuffed into nearly everyone’s pockets in real life is just one of an endless stream of coincidences that daisychain Adams’ career. In the 1984 novel So Long and Thanks For All The Fish, the Hitchhiker’s Guide’s froodiest field researcher Ford Prefect visits the violent metropolis of Han Dold City, connects his copy remotely to the Sub-Etha and watches the infamous entry on Earth – ‘Mostly Harmless’ – being updated in real time, in scenes which struck most readers as cool fantasy thirty years ago, but would not raise a single eyebrow in today’s wi-fi-filled world. Technology that was sci-fi has now become humdrum.

One glance at the high street would show Adams that his beloved Apple, the company whose sleek, simple machines he had passionately adored since clapping eyes on the 128k model (released in the same year as SLATFATFish), are no longer the Rebel Elite, the underdog championed by only the most fervent computing connoiseurs, but have become the Empire, ubiquitous and triumphant. Douglas’ life ended in April 2001, just short of the launch of the iPod, but he would have ended up with drawers full of them – he was even happy to appear in promotional videos for the Apple cause. He certainly wouldn’t have had to queue up for the new iPhone 6.

Incidentally, the entertainment being enjoyed on iPhones, iPads, and i-otherwise would also be right up Adams’ alley in 2014 – if The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has any two cultural parents, one would be Monty Python, who have just bade the world an explosive farewell at the O2 (sans Adams’ wild mentor Graham Chapman). For a whole decade, the other major progenitor of Hitchhiker has also been impossible to escape in any entertainment arena – Russell T Davies’ rebooted Doctor Who being by common accord largely inspired by the blend of wit and wonder realised by Adams in his own time on The Show, particularly in his script for the fan favourite City of Death. As a final uncanny twist, Pink Floyd have released their last album, their first such release since The Division Bell twenty years ago – a name suggested by their number one fan, Douglas, in return for David Gilmour making a sizeable donation to a charity for Silverback Gorillas.

If Adams’ latter work in the technological world is still continuing anywhere in cyberspace, it’s at h2g2.com. As the ‘Chief Fantasist’ of dotcom company The Digital Village, Douglas posited an Earth-bound Guide that would not only cover all shades of existence, but even allow users, like field researchers, to leave reviews for cafés and such, for the benefit of other users. Wikipedia, Google Maps and many more services have taken on these ideas until they have become par for the course, and yet the h2g2.com ball Adams started rolling at the end of the last millennium is still very much a continuing project, placing itself in the same position to Wikipedia as the ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’ was to the ‘Encyclopedia Galactica’: the snarky option, which tells it like it is – sometimes.

On a similar note, there are many sadly missing wits who would have flourished on Twitter, but it’s so hard not to reflect on how surely the incurable epigrammist Adams may well have been crowned King of the Tweets, entertaining his millions of followers when he should be honouring novel deadlines.

Despite his Dirk Gently-ish reticence to claim any clairvoyance, Douglas was to become feted by the scientific and technological communities, and was often paid to pontificate on our electronic future, but in 2014 maybe we were still a fair distance from the realisation of some of Adams’ presumptions, such as computers as tiny and numerous as grains of sand. The number 2014 provided no urgent anniversary for Hitchhiker, bar the autumn’s 35th anniversary of the first novel’s release by Pan Books. Perhaps 2013’s marking of the radio programme’s first broadcast would logically have been the most obvious celebration. Therefore it must just be yet another extraordinarily random coincidence that, besides the release of an all-new iteration of the classic Hitchhiker computer game, the deadline for The Frood was screeching towards me just as the original radio cast were brought together in the BBC Radio Theatre this March for an almost unprecedented honour – a live broadcast of a mash-up encore for Arthur Dent and cohorts, as devised and directed by Douglas’ last radio comedy collaborator, Dirk Maggs.

I could spend the rest of my life trying to think up any rational explanation for this all happening in 2014, but I give up. It may all have just been coincidence, or it could well be that Hitchhiker, even nearly fourteen years on from the loss of its creator, is still just very, very hard to put down.


ENDPAPERS

As a slightly random New Year’s gift to those who are interested, here’s a couple of Photoshop offerings from my own meagre talents. I’ve always believed in squeezing as much added value into my books as possible, and particularly feel that the hardback’s endpapers should be anything but dull – an issue which triggered a highly unusual argument with my esteemed publisher, with whom I generally have an unwavering accord. Apparently it’s plain endpapers FTW in publishing circles, but I still feel fans should be given as much as possible.

Sadly, my campaign to include the Hitchhiker collage below in The Frood hardback failed miserably, largely due to clearance issues, sobeit. Nevertheless, although the quality of artwork here is quite deliberately rough as arses (the idea was that one of Preface Publishing’s designers would do a better job of it, but it never got that far, sadly), I can include it here for download. If anyone fancies brightening up the drab existing endpapers by printing out this and sticking it into their copy of The Frood… You may need a better hobby, but good luck to you.

COLLAGE

Anyone who already has The Clue Bible in hardback will recognise this collage as it appeared – strangely, without any further design work, this is just as I designed it. So this is what paperback owners will have been so badly missing…

The Clue Bible Collage

The top image contains elements which are kindly reproduced by the Master and Fellows of St John’s College, Cambridge and numerous ©opyrights including the excellent Kevin J Davies, DC Comics, BBC TV and what-have-you. The bottom one is mainly thanks to Tim Brooke-Taylor and Humphrey Barclay. 

Sincere thanks to everyone who has bought any of my books or in any way persuaded me to keep at it this year. I hope not to let you down in 2015.


MAY YOUR 2015 BE FROODY OR OTHERWISE FORTUITOUS, ACCORDING TO TASTE!

THE FROOD: Fit The Fifth

THE FROOD – Fit The Fifth

First things first – come along to a very special BFI DOUGLAS ADAMS & HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE RETROSPECTIVE on Sunday 14th December! There shall be rare material and cosplay and Trillian and GargleBlasters and fun! More details follow…

10676179_10152733708388855_2155694169793331630_nOne of these froods is hoopier than the other – me and the remarkable Toby “Slarts” Longworth.
Pic taken by the excellently-monikered Janko Dragovic.

I may have gone where I intended to go, but I do not think I have ended up where I wanted to be – to subvert the words of an occasionally wise detective – which is another way of saying that the publicity splurges for The Frood brought a lot of pleasure both to me and to audiences around the middle bit of this island… However, it seems that amid the avalanche of selective-memoirs from the likes of Cleese, Merton, Fry et al, even a figure as beloved as Adams can get a bit lost. It may well be that soon it will become illegal to write a book unless you are a celebrity.

In short, it occurs to me that a massive shake-up of the way books are published is in order – even though The Frood missed ‘Super Thursday’ by coming out a week or two earlier, there’s simply no commercial sense in squeezing a year’s worth of book releases (many specifically aimed at the exact same readership) into one day in autumn any more – if indeed, there ever was any sense in it. Perhaps a new model will come along, in which books sort of stay in publicity mode for a lot longer, being updated, re-printed (if popular enough), and dusted down for suitable occasions, to help spread the word.

For instance, I tend to meet about one person a week who claims to be the biggest Blackadder fan of all time, ever, no comebacks – and almost without exception, these people never even know there is a widely available great big official-as-dammit book on the subject, packed with exclusive material. It looks like The Frood might be a similar situation, Hitchhiker fans the world over need to be told about it – but with every single media outlet in the UK currently being all-but run by unpaid interns , their Culture coverage cut down to around one sentence every second month, how to let them know? I’m currently favouring a special series of supernovae explosions on New Year’s Eve which will spell out “BUY THE FROOD BY JEM” across the firmament – keep an eye out at the end of the month to see if my plans have come to fruition.

Nonethefewer, in the meantime, after a year of chilly isolated composition on The Frood, I can at least sincerely say that the publicity splurge we did have was a genuine pleasure. First there was the honour of the top floor of Foyles’ brand-spanking new metropolitan store, debating with author Marie Phillips  about Adams’ problems with fictional females:

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Next came the interesting challenge of improvising 90 minutes of stand-up on the subject of The Frood for Bath’s Toppings, followed by a friendly chat with the Douglas Adams expert par excellence, David Haddock, in Heffer’s Cambridge:

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Then came the biggie – being on the Cheltenham Literary Festival main stage with Douglas’ brother James Thrift and old friends Clive Anderson and Terry Jones – a slightly smaller venue for the latter than his most recent gig at the O2, but a great pleasure for all of us. The Radio Times rather naughtily stole a non-story moment from the event without even bothering to mention the actual book, but that report is very misleading indeed – at this stage, it’s impossible to say precisely what is happening with the Adams archive…

Oh, and as an extra jolly, of course, there was the unexpected pleasure of an added date in November, at the Chortle Comedy Book Festival in Camden. I thought I would make this more of a comedy event than a book plug, and could think of nobody better to join me on stage than the current reigning Slartibartfast in the official Hitchhiker tour – Toby Longworth – to aid me in performing some ultra-rare slices of Hitchhikeriana. With an eye to the fundamental inter-connectedness of all things, you see, comedy stalwart Toby is actually from my adopted home town in Bath, and we share a number of close friends, but had never actually met up until this occasion. We each chose a favourite passage from the H2G2 legend – he plumped for Marvin’s death, I chose the initial Dent/Slarts dialogue:

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Yes, I know I’m a poor stand-in for Simon Jones… but I wouldn’t be the first! Pic ©Amanda Leon-Joyce

But we also performed some exclusive never-before-seen material – the highlight being our very ad-hoc reconstruction of the beginning of the abandoned Hitchhiker TV Series 2, with Toby standing in for David Dixon and me still failing to capture the brilliance of Simon Jones. Still, my ukulele stayed in my bag (no ‘So Long…’ singalong!) and many laughs were had – I was even stopped in the street and asked about the possibility of further fringey stagings of this Longworth/Roberts ‘show’ as it were, but that would depend totally, like everything else, on the feelings of Douglas Adams’ family and estate. I’m up for it.

So, this ‘rent horizon’ season has been packed with pleasure, then, but thankfully we’re not done yet! Somebody lovely from the BFI and the Loco Comedy Film Fest rang me up with an offer to chair a special panel on Sunday 14th December, as part of a whole day of celebration of Adams’ work, for froods of all ages! The hoopy day will be starting off with a special Dr Who slant by showing all of City of Death, filling in the middle with chats and rare programmes from us – including the original Trillian, Susan Sheridan – and culminating in a complete marathon of the BBC TV sitcom version of Hitchhiker’s Guide. Simply click the link at the top of this blog to get involved in all the fun, and let’s hope that more people continue to discover (and above all, enjoy) The Frood in the coming days, weeks, months, years…

As the most comprehensive official guide to The Guide in the known Galaxy, The Frood will always be out there now, and as long as my writing does as much justice to Douglas’ memory as people have told me it does, that’s all that really matters.

Now, will somebody please buy me lunch?

THE FROOD: Fit The Third

A VERY VERY FROODY TOWEL DAY, EVERYONE!

Update on The Frood? To quote Sir Guy, “GETTING IT READY FOR YOU NOW.”

This article made a rather good point yesterday, that Douglas Adams would probably have been more bemused and befuddled by the concept of folk all around the world celebrating his work via bathroom linen than anything else – but then, as we only do it because he’s no longer here, that’s no reason for anyone to hold back, from Innsbruck to Santa Barbara, grab your towel and have a good time…

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The last time I had a pass for this building, I was pitching a show to a Radio 4 producer circa 2001. A callow youth.

The high probability that fans somewhere will still be celebrating this day after we have all joined Adams is a very pleasing thought, but even though last year was the 35th anniversary of Hitchhiker’s first leakage into public consciousness, 2014 has turned out to be a particularly auspicious year for towel-carriers everywhere. Of course, it’s the 35th anniversary of the publication of the novel that turned a cult Radio 4 comedy into an international sensation, but it could well also be the year when that radio titan finally reached its conclusion.

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A thoroughly unprofessional photograph of a thoroughly geektastic experience – being the one audience member for the Hitchhiker Live technical rehearsal.

Returning to probability – or this time, Improbability – what odds would you give? That one year ago I would sit down and begin to write an all-new updated history of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, roughly ten years on from Nick Webb’s previous Official Biography but without any particular anniversary guiding me… And then, within the very last FORTNIGHT of the writing of The Frood, I would find myself in the BBC Radio Theatre watching the ultimate embodiments of Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Trilian Astra-Mcmillan, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Random Dent, and TWO embodiments of Marvin, taking their quite probably final bows for a brand new live broadcast of the programme that started it all? I still hadn’t quite recovered from the honour of being handed an unproduced Blackadder script by Richard Curtis two years earlier, but this was further off the scale.

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And yes, the Hitchhiker Live experience was made even more exciting by discovering this book in the small BBC shop, one of only three or four titles they were featuring. Still available in all… places.

The other way in which ‘Blackadder In Bethlehem’ was just a taster for the archival treats to come has already been detailed in this blog, but it has deepened since, with my second trip to Cambridge. Sadly no palatial quarters for me this time, I had to find myself thrillingly seedy digs as I documented every last scrap of the private Adams Archive at St. John’s that I could – very hard work, and worth every millisecond.

THE FROOD will now be out this September (pre-order here why don’t you? Have Amazon started paying their bloody tax yet? Apologies if not. Buy it from a proper shop in four months then), and in addition to the teases already teased, I’ve been able to work in whole chapters of a totally different draft of ‘Life, The Universe and Everything’ previously believed destroyed, sections from the planned second TV series which never got beyond the rough script stage, and… well, too much to document here. We could only fit the cream of the discoveries into the book! And last time I shot my mouth off in this arena the lovely folk at St. John’s College told me off, and I had to remove images and await rights clearance, so for now, perhaps this Fit should keep shtum.

There will be much more to come at the start of the autumn – including special Hitchhiker events in Cambridge and as the centrepiece of this year’s Cheltenham Literary Festival, so keen Froods should keep their eyes non-literally peeled for further information. But if they’re real fans, they will quite probably BURST. Like a Drubber. Sorry, that’s a Hitchhiker reference which will only make sense to you after reading THE FROOD…

Right, I have an afternoon gig at the Spiegeltent as part of the Bath Fringe, and as it’s Towel Day I’ll be ending on ‘So Long & Thanks For All The Fish’, so I’m off to get ready. For now…

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

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Blackadder & Nicola Bryant: An Annoying Apology

In the early hours, my first indication after 17 months that my brother had read The True History of The Black Adder came with a text, pointing out that, although the great Nicola Bryant had been properly credited in the Appendixes, in the text itself I had passingly called her ‘Nicola Bradbury’. He then went on to talk at length about her cleavage in Doctor Who, of course.

This mistake was made in spite of the fact that I was perfectly aware that her name is Nicola Bryant, had always had as much of a thing for her as any other male or lesbian TV geek, and had never knowingly for any one second thought her name was, would be, or ever could be, Nicola Bradbury. And yet, there the error is, in my original text, totally uncommented on by anyone until this day.

When you consider the immense and painful battles which have been fought over every single tic in the TTHoTBA text at every stage, from composition to paperback and e-Book, the pain of this one single clunker sitting right in the middle of the ultimate version of the text is something which I don’t believe anyone in the world can quite imagine. All that quadruple fact-checking, all that agonising over formatting errors. Nicola Bryant.

Well that’s my weekend greatly marred. Blessed as I am with a head that is emptier than a hermit’s address book…

ImageSorry Nicola.

EDIT: And Craig Charles’ ‘Captain Butler’ was somehow rendered as ‘Captain Blood’. But only Darrell noticed that one…